Winfred Rachel Asingura: May 2016

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

11 truths to becoming a Lady in Waiting:

Why do women tend to “go after the guys”? Why do women experience difficulty being still and waiting for the man to initiate and develop the relationship? You find the answer in one word: insecurity.

An insecure woman has her world centered on something (marriage) or someone (Mr. Right) that can be lost or taken away. Insecurity keeps a woman from experiencing consistent joy even within a relationship because a man cannot provide security, only God can.

“Insecurity among women is epidemic, but it is not incurable. Don’t expect it to go away quietly, however. We’re going to have to let truth scream louder to our souls than the lies that have infected us,” says Beth Moore, and I agree.

The father of lies (John 8:44) screams lies at our hearts daily. We can only scream back if our hearts are wallpapered with the truth (John 8:32). We need to learn how to scream at the liar! It may seem a contradiction of a Lady in Waiting to be screaming, but there are times when we need to.

Truth #1— Do Not Label Yourself Negatively: Self-condemnation leaves no room for loving others. If you’re hard on yourself, you’re hard on others… Love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:39).

Truth #2—Behave Assertively, With God-Confidence: God-confidence is the opposite of arrogance and pride. For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love
and of self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7).

Truth #3—When You Fail, Confess and Refuse to Condemn Yourself: If you fail, it only means you still have a pulse. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins (1 John 1:9).There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).

Truth #4—Do Not Compare Yourself with Others: Comparisons are demoralizing. You are unique, one of a kind; therefore you are incomparable…When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise (2 Corinthians 10:12).

Truth #5—Concentrate on God’s Grace: A definition of grace: for one to bow down in order to benefit another/others greatly. Grace is strength allotted to me to behave myself. How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! (1 John 3:1).

Truth #6—Associate with Positive People: As we associate, we become. Your closest friend is a mirror of the future you! He who walks with the wise grows wise… (Proverbs 13:20).

Truth #7—Learn How to Rejoice in All Things: The key facet of emotional health is the ability to be thankful and grateful. Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

Truth #8—Have Realistic Expectations of Yourself and Others: Remember, on your best day…you are still “but dust” (Ps. 103:13-14). The source of so much grief: unrealistic expectations (Ps. 39:7). Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment… (Romans 12:3).

Truth #9—Growth and Change Are a Process and Are Never Instantaneous: God is the Agent of Change (John 17:17). The start is the promise of the finish (Phil. 1:6; 1 Thess. 5:24).
In God’s corrections, He never stops believing in us! For whom the Lord loves He reproves, even as a father, the son in whom he delights (Proverbs 3:12).

Truth #10—Do What Is Right and Pleasing to Jesus: Pleasing Jesus is not the same as pleasing people (Matt. 6:1). How do you discern the difference between people pleasing and “Papa pleasing?” (Hebrews 4:12-13) If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ (Galatians 1:10).

Truth #11—Be Positive: Consider fasting from critical remarks. See how long you can go without saying something negative.

Pray for a mouth filter:

Finally, Ladies, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things (Philippians 4:8).

Turn to your heavenly Father now. Pour out to Him your heart’s longing to be loved. See His arms open wide and His empty lap ready to embrace and hold you near. He considers you dear.

He longs to give you satisfying love. Perhaps He does desire to give you a man to love also.

But the man you marry cannot meet your need for security. Only God’s love brings security.

Monday, May 30, 2016

Four ways to know if God is Happy with your Relationship:

God’s Love is the ultimate. Knowing the love God has for you means that you do not have to compromise your relationship with God for others, you do not have to seek fulfillment from others, and you do not have to settle for less from others. The most perfect love comes from God, and no one on this earth can replace it.

Before, you jump in any relationship, make sure you are strong in your loving relationship with God. This means knowing that He is always there to help you along the way. Trust Him. Make God the most important in your life. Make Him the love of your life and watch Him work wonders in your relationship.

Here are 4 Ways to Know if God is Happy With Your Relationship:

You are more interested in your relationship with Christ than your relationship with your mate.

“You are not your own, you were bought at a price” – therefore God must reign in your relationships. We are called to be holy, because He is holy. Real love leads you closer to Him rather than leads you astray.

God is number #1, Not just in your life, but in theirs as well. Date someone that you would consider marrying. Choose a person that has a similar desire for God. Choose a relationship where you can encourage one another in pursuing God.

Your relationship with Christ does not lie in the hands of your mate

If you only want to go to church, praise God, or pick up a bible when they see fit, then you are worshiping them, Not God. It’s good to have a bible study partner, an accountability partner, a prayer partner, and even better if you have a mate who is all of these things, but cherish your own personal time with God. Make sure you spend time alone with God as well. You need moments of reading the Bible, journaling or praying just between you and God.

Many times today our relationships take priority and they eventually become our idols. In many cases we don’t even realize it. It starts out as the overly obsessed love of one another. We need to remember to always put God first, to love Him with our whole being, and make sure all our motives and actions start with Christ and the love He instills in us. Love that becomes a God, becomes a demon.

You’re honoring Christ with your body

Be careful with physical affection. Hugs are great. God created physical affection to be good. But be careful in how much physical permission you give one another. A relationship can easily turn sinful if physical bonding occurs too quickly… and just to clarify, physical bonding is not limited only to sexual intercourse.

Everyone is different. Some can resist temptation a little more than others, But if you feel guilty at all for your actions, it may be a good indication that you are going too far. Avoid physical actions that might cause lustful thoughts (such as sitting on your mates lap, laying on each other or sensual kissing and massages). Save sex for marriage. Talk about your physical actions with each other, making sure you are both comfortable with this decision. Understand what might be innocent to one or another might very well be dangerous to you.

Your relationship serves as a ministry to others

Make a choice to honor God in your relationship by abstaining from pre-marital sex. And you will unknowingly inspire others, the people in your life, your peers, siblings...etc to do the same.

How does your relationship further the kingdom? Does your relationship align with God’s word?

If you are still unsure if your relationship meets God’s approval, pray about your relationship. Give everything over to Him. Let God know that you are asking His approval. Talk to God about the problems that may arise in your relationship and ask for clarity on certain situations. Thank Him for the opportunity to be in a relationship and pray His will for your relationship.

To the Girl who feels unloved

You are cherished, beautiful girl. You are loved by our Maker, the King of Kings.

He calls you lovely and He is crazy about you. He wants nothing more than to romance you, to keep you, to heal you, and to renew you.

He fashioned the heavens, the stars, the sun, the sky, and the ocean, yet still He looks on you with so much pride and love. You are His prized possession.

He sees the hurt you’ve been through and every tear you’ve cried. The tears that you have sown are going to reap something beautiful.

He’s been there through every heartache you’ve suffered, and every pain you’ve felt, preparing you for better things to come. He collects each tear in a bottle, and knows the very number of hairs on your head.

He loves you through and through. There is nothing in this world that can separate you from His remarkable love for you.

He gave it all for you that your cup would run over with joy and peace; that you wouldn’t give into the lies that you aren’t good enough; that you wouldn’t break under the pressure; that you wouldn’t give in to bitterness because of what that person did to you.

You were made for greatness that is why you have been through what you’ve been through.

The devil has tried to destroy you so many times, yet somehow you keep pulling yourself back up and dusting yourself off.

I am that girl. My whole life I searched for love, so desperate to feel anything. I never felt that I was good enough for anyone. I deemed myself “unlovable.”

And that is why I love Jesus so much.

He loved me when everyone else turned their back on me. When everyone else left, He lifted me up.

He was there and collected my every tear. He filled my heart with hope and peace. You can’t comprehend what He brought me from.

He saved me from myself and the pain that I felt. He reminded me His mercies are new every morning, and there will never be a day that comes that I will be unloved.

You are loved by your Maker, the King of Kings.

You can rest assured that GOD will never leave or forsake you. You have the greatest romancer yearning to romance you.

Top 6 Books for Christian Singles

If we are all honest, one of the most challenging tests of our faith is waiting on God. It takes perseverance and grit. We all have days when it just gets hard.

God has big plans for you. He longs to woo you, romance you, and love you daily. We all long for love and that is natural desire because God is a lover, and He fashioned you in His image.

I pray that you will come to know the love of God and trust His plan for your life, that His plans are bigger than your own. I pray that you would look to God’s love first, and establish yourself in Him, trusting that He will bring along the right person in His perfect timing.

Love God and let Him love on you while you are waiting on the man God has for you to marry. Focus on building up yourself, others, and your relationship with God before and after you are married.

Here are six books that are worth the investment to encourage us in the waiting process.

1. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love by Devon Franklin and Megan Good with: Tim Vandehey.

I cannot wait to get my hands on this one, I just ordered my copy and I am super excited about it. Hollywood power couple DeVon Franklin and Meagan Good candidly share about their courtship and marriage, and the key to their success—waiting. - Faced with starting a new relationship and wanting to avoid potentially devastating relationship pitfalls, DeVon and Meagan chose to do something almost unheard of in today’s society—abstain from sex until they were married...

2. When God Writes your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy

Eric and Leslie Ludy share their own personal story of what it is like to be a single Christian in today’s world. It is a call to save your heart with intention, and to place your future spouse in God’s hands and allow Him to bring that person into your life.

3. Lady in Waiting by Jackie Kendall

Lady in Waiting is about becoming the kind of wife your future husband needs. Jackie Kendall does an excellent job of demonstrating how important it is to become the right woman instead of solely focusing on finding the right man. She also studies the characteristics of Ruth! (No wonder I recommend it right?) This is a must read that will help you in becoming a modern day Ruth.

4. God, When Will I Get Married? by Laura Reyes

This is a wonderful book that deals with the real issues we face while waiting on the right person. Laura is genuine and authentic. She addresses how easy it is to get discouraged during the waiting process, but that it is important to use this time in your life as preparation. She also talks about the red flags to watch for and how we should use discernment when it comes to relationships.

5. I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris

Almost one million copies later, this book has left an impact on a generation. Joshua Harris presents a proposal that is considered radical. Harris popularized the concept of courtship when he found himself disgusted with secular dating. This book isn’t meant to be a set of rules, but rather a call to something bigger than ourselves.

6. The Mingling of Souls: God’s Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption by Matt Chandler.

This book is for both those who are single and married. In this book, Chandler speaks about how feelings can contradict God’s design for love and intimacy and promises that after reading this you will be forever changed.

Lets get reading Ladies.

Lord Prepare me to be Godly Wife:

Heavenly Father,

You know this road isn’t easy for me. You know my heart’s desire; to love and be loved. You’ve seen where I’ve come from in life, and you see where I’m going but in this moment, waiting on you is just so hard.

I’m surrounded by a culture pushing me into ideas and ways that I know don’t align up with your will for me. My heart tries to pursue, yet you tell me to wait.

I am your cherished daughter, and I know the plans you have for me are great. But I pray right now, in this moment you fill me with your peace.

Help me to become fully satisfied in you, before you bring my Husband to me. Help me to trust the process of becoming the woman you desire for me to be.

You see my heart’s full potential. You know that when I love, I love deeply and when I fall, I fall hard.

Father save my heart for the man you have set aside for me. Prepare me to be the kind of wife he needs me to be.

I choose to fully chase after you, God. When you bring along the man I am meant to marry I will not stop chasing you. We will chase after you together. We will be each other’s helpmate.

We will love each other purely and deeply, but we will love you the most. We will constantly strive to keep you at the center of our lives and marriage, for I know you are the glue that will hold us together.

When my Husband comes along I will not forget my first love. I will not forget the one who loved me first, and loved me enough to give me a godly man who will love, cherish, and treasure the woman that I am.

While I am here waiting on you, I will choose to serve. I will choose to chase after your heart. I will choose to embrace all that you have called me to be. Wherever you go, I’ll go. Wherever you stay, I will stay.

I will leave the world behind to chase after the God of my heart. I will trust in you, even when the road seems hard and I feel like I can’t take another step.

I will let you mold me into the wife you have called me to be. I will love, cherish, honor, and treasure my future spouse. I will rely on the covenant of marriage and your strength to bring me through when my emotions try to lead me astray.

I thank you for all that you are, and all that you are preparing me to be. I thank you that I can trust you with every single detail of my life, that everything that matters to me matters to you.

I know that in your perfect timing, when you see fit, you will bring us both together to love and serve you. Thank you for loving me.

~You’re treasured daughter

Winfred