A Page from my Personal Journal

 

“Mistakes are a great educator when one is honest enough to admit them and willing to learn from them.” ~Unknown

Mistakes happen. They are part of life. Since we were young, it seems like it’s in our nature to just keep on doing wrong, keep on falling, keep on committing mistakes. And we learn from them – that’s why we say that ‘experience is the best teacher’.

I was always the good girl, in many aspects of my life. I had a good job and had all the nice things, most of my friends thought I had a perfect life – but it was far from what I wanted for myself and so I got involved with the wrong people the biggest conman of all time, Mwase Geofferey aka Masandha aka Jeff, & the devil that plays good guy, Kamanyiro Richard, and I made one grave mistake that cost me so much, it made me go through a very bad and trying season where practically every door was closed on me, everyone left me, I lost my job, I lost friends, I lost two cars, lost all my savings and I ran out of money that I used to go hungry for most of my days, I practically had nothing on me, was just by myself, depressed, nothing ever working out for me for 2 years. That one mistake has made me go through the worst kind of pain, all the worst things you could ever imagine have happened to me in these two years but it has made me grow up and learn that life isn’t a straight line. Does any 27year old female Ugandan know what it means to loose $10,000 in one day, well me & my friend Ann do know. If u do, u know what it feels like.

It is said that when you are going through the darkest days of your life, you get to know who your real friends are… and during this time, I have learned who my friends are and who to trust, I have learned the power of family BUT above everything else I have learned to lean on and really trust God, I have drawn closer to my God, he has become my entire life. I do not even want to know where I will be today without Jesus.

Even though I am the queen of telling everyone not to settle for less than you deserve, about 7 months ago, I settled for a shitty job that I practically hate and have wanted to quit from day one I got it, but each time I want to quit I have one friend, Ann that always tells me that a bad job gives you a better one and she often reminds me of the past 2years & the one year I spent jobless & had nothing, so I am still here till God grants me the Job I deserve, takes me where I belong and where He needs me to be… With all those bad things that have happened, at least something good came along, I met a special man, he is the best thing that has had happened to me in a long time. I have blogged about him in so many posts his also my inspiration for 95% of the posts on this blog. He has influenced my life greatly, his a special man. Ladies, its true, that there are some good men left out there, I didn't believe it till he came along.

But somehow when you do not deal with your past, it affects your present and a relationship involves two healthy people, I am not maybe, coz have messed up so many times, and if I had my way, I would make us work, but I can only pray for God’s will to be done in our relationship if we have any left. Being a child of God I know that God will only do the things which are consistent with His will. He exists to fulfill His purposes, not mine & not my boyfriend's but His, 1 John 5:14 “This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.” So I can only leave this one to him.

I have learned in this season that on the surface, mistakes might seem like the end of the world; however, below the surface they present you with the perfect opportunity to learn, to grow and to improve yourself. Think back to all the mistakes you made in life and consider how they have strengthened your character and ability, and also how they have shaped your knowledge, personality and your life experience.

Yes all the ugly things have happened to me but I have learnt to take my life and line it up against the bible and use it as a mirror to show me my heart. I have forgiven and stopped blaming Masandha & Kamanyiiro that led me to where my life is today and have also learned to take responsibility for my actions. Have learnt that I cannot control my life and some of the things that have happened to me but I can control how I respond to them. 

I want the plan that God has for my life. I don’t want anything outside of it. I want His perfect will so I’ve stopped praying for meaningless, material things and I am now praying that my heart would be molded to look like His.

Mistakes are valuable. However, for them to be of value, you must first see them as a beneficial and critical part of your life that you cannot avoid and must instead embrace with an open heart and open mind. Who knows, your biggest mistakes could end up turning into your most glorious victories, as long as you are open to learning and growing from the experience.

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Maria Robinson