How to Date a Difficult Man

How to Date a Difficult Man

We can’t control who we fall in love with. Try as we might, romantic feelings still creep up on us even when we’re fighting them tooth and nail. If you find yourself in a relationship with a man who’s less than easygoing, master the art of dealing with him in order to ultimately have the relationship you want.

STEP 1

Decide if the difficulty is worth it. You may feel invigorated by the challenge of dating someone who can be difficult at times. You may also feel burdened and brought down by your man. You’ll need to weigh both sides and determine if the relationship is worth working through.

STEP 2

Speak up for yourself. Just because he’s difficult doesn’t mean that you have to be passive and deny your own feelings or viewpoints. Whether you’re having a full-on argument or just a friendly debate, don’t back down if you feel strongly about something.

STEP 3

Refuse to tolerate partial relationships. If your man wants to take a step back and casually date or be friends after you’ve been dating for a long time, or he suggests that you should have an open relationship, don’t simply agree because you’re afraid of losing him. Unless you’re completely okay with a major change in your relationship, don’t sacrifice your own needs. It’s not often that relationships like this work out in the end, so try to not hang onto the hope and in the process compromise yourself.

STEP 4

Fight the urge to cater to his every need. Doting on a man who isn’t nearly as attentive towards you won’t make him fall in love with you. Instead, he may start taking you for granted.

STEP 5

Know how long to put in work and when to get out. No matter how much you love and want the man you’re dating, you have to put yourself first and consider your well-being. If you find out that he simply doesn’t want the same things that you do, it may be best to cut your losses and look for someone who is better for you.

STEP 6

Stop analyzing him, I know he’s an orphan, his mother left him when he was three; his wife cleaned him out, yada, yada, yada. Although it’s sad and your heart goes out to him, if he dumped you or sees other women behind your back, etc., his traumas are no reason to accept his bad unloving treatment of you. The damage he incurs by other people in his past could be targeted towards you, if it doesn’t go untreated. Although it is beneficial to understand the reason behind the inconsistent rejecting behavior, if you use it to rationalize his bad treatment of you you’re setting yourself up for a wasting a lot of precious time on a man who’s just not going to come through for you.
If a man is in a deep committed relationship with you, with a future and has a traumatic past then it’s appropriate to feel sorry for him and be empathetic and understanding. However, if he’s hurting or traumatizing you, refer him to a shrink and wish him luck.

STEP 7 
I understand how much you may want to be in love and how much you adore the man you’re seeing, but if he starts playing head games with you and is not genuine and authentic about wanting a serious relationship with you:
Remember that you will squander time which can be detrimental and even self destructive if you are in your childbearing years, and want a family.
Every breakup is a trauma so the longer you stay with him the longer it will take you to recover.

If a man breaks up with you and wants to just stay friends or have a partial relationship, the relationship will most likely not go anywhere, or completely deteriorate. Get out. Drop him. Don’t let him waste your time, traumatizing you for the next man who’s out there, who may be genuinely looking for a relationship and not a narcissistic man who is wasting your time with a self serving arrangement that he wants at his convenience.