My Definition of a Real Man:

Men who choose to pursue manhood and masculinity with all their heart. Men who do not fall into stereotypes, status quo or accept what society would define as a man. These men are not willing to settle and just get by in life. These men are willing to stand up and follow Jesus as the model of true masculinity.

In today’s contemporary society, the definition of a “real man” seems to change almost constantly. We are bombarded with images from the media depicting what a man is supposed to look like, talk like, and act like, often from a worldly perspective. Some say that a “real man” must be physically strong, with large biceps and rippling muscles. Some say that a “real man” does not show emotion and never exposes any weaknesses. Others say that a “real man” is one who never backs down from a fight and will defend his pride at all costs.

Being a Christian, I do not know any other man other than a Christian man, a godly man, so will define a real man from my belief and values as a Christian woman and here are some few examples backed up by the word of God:

Puts God first in everything: There are so many things that scream for men’s attention and devotion: jobs, constant search for money, girlfriends, hobbies—the demands and distractions of life. And some have let these things become more important or more of a priority than their relationship with God. I love a man after God’s own heart, one that loves Christ more than he loves me and I believe a real man gives total control of his life to God, lets Him to have His way in his life; Christ is the center of his existence. Boys, make it your goal to have a deep, intimate relationship with God. Let Him into every area of your life. If you constantly look to other people for answers and validation, pray about this and ask the Lord to help you stop doing that and instead look to Him (1 Thessalonians 2:4) Lean on Him more than anything else, and tell Him, “God, I want to do this, but I can’t do it without You.” He doesn’t expect you to live for Him in your own strength or ability, and He understands when you make mistakes. So if you mess up, don’t be discouraged and let it hold you back; confess it and keep going. God will give you grace to do what you need to do. One day at a time you and God together can do anything! Any godly woman wants this kind of man, the benefits of having this kind of man are way too many, my Christian sisters understand this and that’s my definition of a real man.

Related to the above, I believe a real man must look to the Bible to define his identity as a man and not allow the world’s definition of manhood to dictate how he conducts his life. These worldly influences ultimately lead many men down a path of destruction, as opposed to a fruitful, Godly life men can achieve by walking according to the will of God. In Colossians 2:8, the apostle Paul makes the following exhortation, “See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world, rather than on Christ.” The word of God makes it clear that Christian men must not be unduly influenced by worldly ideas, whether they come from the media or the larger society. As a Christian man, you might be searching to find your true identity in this world that is full of confusion. We all know that sons achieve much of their identity from their earthly fathers. Likewise, as a child of God, your spiritual identity is found in your Heavenly Father and His Word must be the final authority that defines your manhood and every other area of your life

A real man is man has self control; he is able to control his flesh and keep it under subjection. The Bible frequently talks about the importance of self-control in the life of a believer, particularly the lives of men. In the Apostle Paul’s letter to Titus, Paul instructs Titus to “teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance” (Titus 2:2) and “encourage the young men to be self-controlled; In everything set them an example by doing what is good.” (Titus 2:6). Proverbs 25:28 states, “Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.” Finally, in Galatians 5:26 the Bible cites self-control as one of the “fruits of the Spirit.” Real men know that they must control their fleshly desires instead of being controlled and enslaved by them. As men of God, we must realize that we cannot resist the flesh alone; that is why we must submit ourselves to God and His will. The more a man submits to God, the more self-control will become a part of his life.

A real man will stay pure and will definitely protect your purity: our challenge today as young Christian women in waiting is that men are always trying to get us to lower our standards. Even most Christian men do not seem to fully appreciate a woman’s desire to guard her heart and protect her purity. And one thing I can tell my fellow Christian sisters is if your boyfriend is making you stumble, not protecting your purity, its time you let him go. I believe that the kind of men that are worth waiting for really do exist, and they are looking for a woman who values her purity. A real man will wait patiently until she willingly gives him the prize of her heart, and he will cherish and care for that precious prize forever. But even if real men are hard to find, they do exist, and they are worth waiting for so do not get discouraged on your journey toward inward excellence. A real man will protect your purity and change your last name, so that do not settle for that boy compromising your purity, he is going to disappear and leave you broken. And boys I know some of you desire purity in your future spouse and if you do, how much more do you think she desires purity… in you?  So ladies, give the pen to God to write your love story and do not give your heart to any other man but your husband and you can start honoring him now by staying pure. Have shared some posts on purity on this blog and it’s never too late for you to start. God is in the business of making all things new. All you must do is turn and by His grace, walk a different direction.

A real man walks in integrity. Integrity is the quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness. Proverbs 10:9 states, “The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.” A man of integrity is a man who can be trusted and his word is his bond. He demonstrates good character even when no one is looking. His actions and his speech demonstrate that he is a person of integrity. We all know that we will never reach perfection in this earthly realm, but it should be the goal of every man to strive to walk in integrity every day, regardless of the situation or circumstance.

Ultimately, a real man is a man who is Christ-like. Jesus is the best example of what a real man is. He always exhibited self-control when confronted with temptation; he walked in integrity at all times during his life on earth, and Jesus was a great lover who spotlessly kept Himself pure for His Bride. 

The goal of every Christian man should be to act more like Jesus instead of imitating the false ideals of manhood presented by the world. The more a man submits his life to Christ, the more he will think and act like a real man!

I am praying for you and God is crazy about you!