Healing without a Goodbye:

Healing without a Goodbye:

You didn’t choose to start over, but you have no choice. It’s shocking, confusing, and heart-wrenching when your favorite person ends your relationship and you have to start over. Healing is often hard without closure…Relationship closure helps you heal by setting your mind at ease about how your love relationship unfolded. Even if you made mistakes and were part of the reason your love relationship failed, closure can make you stronger by preparing you for future love relationships. Denying an ex closure when you’re breaking up is worse than unhealthy: it’s damaging and destructive. Healing comes faster and easier when you’ve had a chance to say goodbye.

How do we let go without closure

Write a letter to your ex, expressing yourself fully: Ideally, relationship closure involves two people. many people are going out of relationships without fully talking about why they’re ending or how to move on in healthy ways. One way to deal with the end of a relationship without closure is to write the person a letter. Express everything that’s inside of you – good and bad, ugly and beautiful. The letter can be as long as you need; you can add to it for days or weeks. Should you send the letter? It depends. But — it’s important not to send the letter right away (if ever).

Acceptance: Accept the fact that your ex will not give you the closure you need. If he has decided to cut off all communication with you, just accept it, I know it’s the hardest thing to come to terms with but you need to stop looking, searching, and yearning for it and come to terms that the closure you want from him will not come.

Turn your love into hate: Being a Christian I know this is not acceptable and it’s probably a cruel piece of advice, but love eventually leads to hate and the best way to get over the runaway man is by hating him.

You have every right to be bitter: As long as this is temporary and lasts up to the period when you've finally been able to flush him out of your system, be as bitter about the breakup, the memories attached to it, and the man himself without any guilt.

Big Girls Do cry: Cry as much as you need to. Don’t let ANYONE tell you that you shouldn't“waste you tears” because you need to relieve all that frustration and the best way to do that is by allowing yourself to feel all of the emotions attached to a breakup without closure. So cry, even if it’s for weeks. Some days will be better than others, It’s also okay to have those emotional occasional cries here and there. With every tear, you’ll realize that you get a #little bit stronger. So grab a box of tissues and let it rain.

Change your environment: If your ex moved out of the house, you might consider finding a new place to live. Saying goodbye without relationship closure might be easier if you’re in an entirely new place. Remember, however, that “wherever you go, there you are.” We don’t leave our emotional baggage behind when we leave a geographical or physical location, do we? So the idea of changing your environment may or may not be helpful, depending on your circumstances.

 

Explore a different lifestyle: One of the best ways to deal with anything in life is to pursue spiritual and emotional health. Re-establish your relationship with God, read books about healing without relationship closure, blogs, connect with people who uplift and respect you.

 

Make new friends: You don’t need to abandon your old friends to find relationship closure. However, you may find it refreshing to build new friendships with people who don’t know you from your “old relationship” days. Are you struggling with loneliness? I am 100% sure you are, because we all do. Making new friends is a Band-Aid for relationship closure and loneliness.

 

Recognize that you are responsible for your feelings: Nobody can “make you feel anything.” When you feel any emotion, you can choose whether to let that feeling sweep you away or derail it and put a more positive emotion in place. Those feelings of worthlessness or being unlovable are emotions you have control over – you do not have to feel that way. One way to heal after a breakup without closure is to focus on the benefits of being single. Remember that letting go of someone you love isn’t something you do once – and poof! You’re free, healed, and happy! Rather, letting go is a journey peppered with steps forward and steps backward, good days and bad days, peaks and valleys.

We are never taught how to breakup with people we love.

 

There will be moments of perpetual loneliness and others of bliss, but one thing that’s certain to me and what I will remind you is that you deserve to be with a real #man, not a counterfeit one that believes he can walk out of a woman’s life without so much as a goodbye.

In the meantime ladies–find a man who will treat you like a queen, make you smile, call you because he wants to, and–if worse and he should realize that your #relationship won’t work–a man who will have the kahunas to give you the closure you need to move forward.