Leave your friends out of your relationships

Leave your friends out of your Relationships

Am sure most of you just like me do not have a large group of friends, truthfully at my age, I do not need a Squad, you know like the Taylor Swift Squad. In reality, all I need are just three (3) real friends, trust me even one is just good enough. I have three (3) sisters (Enid, Aggie and Phiona) that I love really much and a friend that I love the same way I love my 3 sisters (Ann Namutebi) I will always love this girl no matter what and have always secretly wished she was my blood sister, so I know the drama girls bring. It has also been proven that the larger your “close” social circle is, the more nonsense you’re signing up to deal with. These large groups are often associated with a lot of gossip and picking favorites, I am way too old to deal with that shit.

It's completely normal and healthy for couples to argue. You're two separate people, and you're going to have different opinions sometimes. But what you might not realize is that how you act post-spat can be as important to your relationship as what you say in the heat of the moment and one of the worst mistakes you could ever make is include a third party in that argument. In past relationships, I didn’t ever include my friends in my issues, until I made that terrible mistake recently, something I must admit I regret doing, it is wrong, very wrong  at every level. Do not include these friends in your business.

Here are the reasons you shouldn’t:

• When you start dating someone, it’s very important to remember that your friends have absolutely no place in that relationship. Yes your boyfriend did not sign up to date your friends. He was under the impression that you are an individual and would be dealing with your feelings alone. Now do not get me wrong ladies, there is nothing wrong with talking your feelings out with your closet friends but that’s where it should end.

• We all have to learn for ourselves, even if your closet friends think they know what’s best for us, we should never let them fight our battles. Yes they could have more experience given that they have been in more relationships than we have, but do not let them decide for you or tell you what to do. You may be close but your friend isn’t in your shoes, you’re not alike and you do not handle things the same.

• The more you involve third parties, the more things will get complicated; I do not think any of us wants complicated. Getting tight-lipped about your issues is at times the way to go. It’s between you and you man. The more you get everyone involved, the worse things will get. Even when you’re talking about positive behavior, sometimes it’s good to keep things to yourself. Sure, a few texts about how great he is can be terrific. A few calls when you’re going through a rough patch can be useful. But my very recent experience has taught me to shy away from giving my friends the complete play-by-play. I will want their advice when it’s really needed, I now don’t want them to be actively involved in any of my relationships.

On a lighter note, Like Seriously...how amazing are Jay-Z and Beyonce? They are the greatest. They kept their relationship out of the public eye for years, has any of you ever seen pictures from their wedding, or when they were dating before that marriage and you can tell they just LOVE each other.  No one even knew Queen Bey was pregnant till their baby announcement at one of the awards. I think that’s so adorable. Don’t you… I must say I am going to pick a leaf from this power couple…