The Power in Letting Go...

The Power in Letting Go…

There is no perfect place to turn when going through rough times than the Bible. Proverbs 3:5-6. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths” Jeremiah 29:11. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope” Psalm 55:22 “Cast your cares on the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous be shaken”.

Letting go seems to be one of the most difficult things for most of us to do, yet it’s the most rewarding and freeing experience we can ever give ourselves. The ability to let go frees us emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  

Letting go does not mean to sit back and wait for something to happen.  Absolutely not.  You’re in for a huge disappointment if that’s what you believe. Letting go means to move forward with faith and confidence and without fear of failure, abandonment or rejection.  We most certainly have to take action in order to make it happen, but we can only do so by letting go.

Pastor Joel Osteen had this to say about Letting Go:

"We all go through disappointments, setbacks and things that we don’t understand. Maybe you prayed for a loved one, but they didn’t get well. Or maybe you worked hard for a promotion, but you didn’t get it. You stood in faith for a relationship, but it didn’t work out. One of the best things you can do is release it. Let it go. Don’t dwell on it anymore. If you go around wondering why things didn’t work out, all that will do is lead to bitterness, resentment and self-pity. Before long, you’ll be blaming others, blaming yourself, or even God. You may not understand what happened. It may not have been fair. But when you release it, it’s an act of your faith. You’re saying, “God, I trust you. I know you’re in control. And even though it didn’t work out my way, you said, ‘‘All things are going to work together for my good.’’ So I believe you still have something good in my future”

There is power in letting go of the past and the frustration of trying to figure everything out. When you release your questions, you are saying, “God, You are in control. I trust you.” And when you put your hope in God, that’s when He can heal your heart and lead you forward into victory."

SO are you going through a rough time right now, are you having difficulty letting go of that failed relationship, yes, it’s never easy, it takes great effort to let go of failed relationships and the first step to letting go is to, cut ties with your ex, and start enjoying your life again, follow these steps and let the healing begin.

1. Give yourself time. It's okay to mourn the end of a relationship. Whether you were together for a few months or you lived together for years, you have the right to your complicated emotions. Allow yourself to cry, yell or shout, reflect on the experience, and accept that it's really over. You could use this time to reflect. Write down your feelings in a journal, not on Facebook and really get in touch with why you're feeling that way.
2. Let your emotions loose. If you feel like crying in bed all day, go for it. If you want to cry or vent to a friend about all of your frustrations, do that too. Just remember to only do this for as long as you need to, don't rush out into a new relationship in a week just because your ex is or to make them jealous.
3. Avoid self-destructive behaviors. Taking up smoking, excessive drinking or abusing drugs just because you're feeling angry about a relationship won't do anything to help you feel better about yourself. It will only draw out the grief process, because you'll have to start from scratch. If it's a distraction you're looking for, why not make it a healthy alternative? Instead of smoking, try taking up cycling, there is a new cycling house in Kampala (Oasis Basement, a class is only 20k)  join an Aerobics class, a dance class, if you can play an instrument, do that.
4. Stop communicating with your ex. Stop texting or calling. Some of you think it’s okay to stay friends, No its not. If you need to stop hanging out with your mutual friends for a while, do it. If you really want to see them, hang out with them by making special plans. You're not being cowardly by doing this--you're just protecting yourself. Likewise, find new social places to hang out--there are plenty of bars, restaurants, and parks to check out that don't have any emotional baggage. If you run into your ex, you don't have to run in the other direction. Be mature and say hello, but you don't need to stop to have a painful conversation.
5. Get rid of things that remind you of your ex. Do a relationship spring cleaning. If you can't bear to throw them out entirely, put them in a garbage bag at the back of your closet. You could even donate them to charity. If you have a few things that belong to your ex-- sweatshirts, books, electronics--return them immediately. You can have a friend drop them off for you to minimize the pain.
6. Remodel, redecorate, make your place your own. Especially if you had been living together, get rid of old things even if they don't remind you of your ex. Move your furniture around, change the bed and buy new bed sheets if you have to. Do whatever you have to do to make your space feel new. It's important and healthy to try not to keep too many things from your lives together.
7. When you're ready, go on a date. Let your friend set you up with a mutual acquaintance. It's important to take it slow and have fun meeting new people without setting any expectations.
8. Articulate your desires for new relationships and be honest. If anything, what do you wish you might have done differently at the beginning of your last relationship? Here's your chance to start things off on the right foot. Don't be afraid to speak your mind. If any "deal breakers" pop up in the first few dates, don't ignore them just because it feels good to be dating again.

Letting go is just one aspect of the personal development journey, but a crucial part.  We will always be faced with challenges, negative thoughts and feelings, but how we respond to them will determine our reality.  By learning the art of letting go, we are transforming our entire life, inspiring those around us and allowing ourselves to experience true joy.  And without the experience of joy, what is there? 

Life is short; there's no time for letting someone who doesn't appreciate you ruin your life. Always turn to God; there is power when you surrender to God the very things you’ve been trying to take control of from him.

Good Luck!