Coping after the loss of a Parent...

This picture reminds me of how strong I am, I took days after my Dad's death

Coping after the loss of a Parent:

Dealing with the loss of a parent is difficult, painful and sad for any person, no matter how old you are. I lost my father when I was just 22years of age; I was in my third (3^rd) and final year at the University. It was extremely difficult because I didn’t just loose a father, but I also lost a mentor, a person that was meant guide me through many parts of growing up. I must admit that losing my father took away the person I was inside, it changed me and I keep wondering the kind of people me and my siblings would be and the kind of life we would be living now if our Daddy  was still with us.

There is no better support system than family; we leaned on each other through this difficult time. We were three (3) of us at the University when our daddy passed and at his burial, some people kept whispering how my mother was going to handle, and each time I would hear such a comment, I would only look on and laugh at the person that had made the comment, not because our father left us with enough to last us a life time but because he had taught her and all of us exactly what to do and there is no better definition of strength and hard work than me, my mother, Mrs. Pauline Ghakasa Kasadha and my 4 siblings (Enid, Agnes, Phiona and Sam).

Here are some ways to work through your pain and sadness;

Be accepting of the pain.

The loss of your parent can easily take away your emotions and impact on who you feel you are. You won't feel the same after this loss and it is important to accept that this is a normal state.

Talk to others. 

Speak with family and friends as openly as possible. They know you are going through a really difficult time and it is important to share your emotions and fears with others. Remember that your inner circle of family members are probably experiencing similar emotions and maybe you can help one another through this devastating time. However, if you don't feel comfortable talking with family members or you feel that their own pain has locked them away from you so intensely, you should feel free to talk to your peers and people who can help.

Allow yourself to cry.

Crying is very normal. If you feel that you need to maintain a brave face in front of others, cry in your own personal space, I always cried myself to sleep and I still do each time I miss my dad. So even if it’s in your personal space or in front of others, let out, cry and yell if u need to, everybody can imagine how terrible it must be to lose a parent and they will be supportive.

Talk about who him/her.

Remember the good things about your dad or your mother and look at photos of him/her. Put together a memory album if you have too and write down all the wonderful things you have experienced together. You could also write letters to him/her about how your feeling or what you need to tell them.

Know that you will always be your parent's child. 

He may have died but you still continue to have a relationship with him/her. You will always be his/her child and he/she will always live on in your heart. So treasure the memories and be ready to share them with others as time moves on.

Visit the gravesite

Some people find comfort when they do visit, you can go there, take flowers, sit and talk to him/her. It’s often difficult visiting it is recent but if you feel you need to and can handle it, visiting could help you with the pain. Personally haven’t visited my dad’s grave in 3years because it’s difficult to go there.

I dedicate this to my loving father, my king, the late James Kasadha, dearly missed by your wife, Son, Samuel and daughters, Winnie, Enid, Agnes and Phiona. Plus your grandson, Baby Jayden.

Rest in Peace Dad. Till we meet again.